A Biblical View Of Marriage And Divorce

(A Look At Matthew 19:1-12)

(1-3) In this passage Jesus is in Judea beyond the Jordan, probably Perea.  There some Pharisees test him by asking him if it is okay for a man to divorce his wife for any reason.  There were two schools of thought on the matter of divorce.  There was the school of Shammai which believed divorce was only allowed for sexual immorality.  There was also the school of Hillel which thought that divorce should be allowed for basically any reason. 

(Matthew 19:4-6) "He answered, Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?  So they are no longer two but one flesh.  What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate." (ESV)

(4-6) In his response Jesus quotes Genesis 1:27, 2:24.  Jesus speaks of it as the very words of God, affirming the Old Testament as the literal word of God.  In these verses he says God made them male and female.  This is an obvious rejection of homosexual marriage.  A man is to leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.  The two become one, including sexually and they now form one unit.  They now form a new family and the marriage relationship becomes the most important human relationship.  A husband and wife are to put one another above all others.  In these verses Jesus shows that God's original intent was for marriage to be a life long bond without divorce. 

(7-9) Then the Pharisees ask Jesus why Moses allowed divorce (Deuteronomy 24:1).  Jesus tells them it was because of the hardness of their hearts.  He says that this was not so from the beginning, divorce was not the original intent by God.  Jesus then says that if a man divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality and marries another he commits adultery.  Jesus in this passage gives sexual immorality as the only exception allowing for divorce.  Sexual immorality includes all sex outside of marriage.  

(10-12) The disciples react to what Jesus has just said by saying it is better not marry.  Jesus says that remaining unmarried is not for everyone.  It is only for eunuchs, those unable to have sexual relations and those living a voluntary life of celibacy.  The disciples overreacted in their response but they did grasp how serious marriage really is.  

We can see from this passage that marriage is serious business.  It is intended to be a life long bond.  It is a life long commitment to each other and to God.  In Matthew 19, sexual immorality is given as the only reason for divorce.  There is one other Biblical exception, that being desertion (1 Corinthians 7:15).  This passage refers to an unbeliever who refuses to stay with a believer.  But even in cases of sexual immorality it is best to reconcile if at all possible.  

Divorce destroys families and is particularly devastating to children.  It tears apart what God has brought together.  We fell out of love or we just don't get along anymore, are not valid reasons for divorce.  People need to figure out what true love really is (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).  It is patient, kind, forgiving, and puts the other person above yourself.  Love is more than just a feeling.  People often talk of being "in love" but this is not sufficient grounds for sustaining a marriage.  Being in love is an emotional feeling that will not be sustained.  There will be times when your feelings for the other person are strong and other times when your feelings are not as strong.  Love does involve the emotions but it is also a decision a person makes.  True love involves commitment through good times and bad times.  Jesus instructed his followers to even love their enemies.  No person is going to have feelings of love for his enemies.  This shows that love is much more than feelings, it is a decision you make to be committed to the other person.  

So what about those who have already gotten divorced for illegitimate reasons and have remarried?  In this case the second marriage did start as adultery, but it is an actual marriage and does not continue to be adultery.  Those who are in this situation need to seek forgiveness for their past sins through Christ.  And they need to make their current marriage a life long bond.